Is forgiveness really important? And how do I actually forgive someone who has really hurt me? The question spins in my mind. Must I go deeper than just being forgiven by God myself? But the hurt when I think of the memory stabs me like a dagger aching in my chest. I think back to that cool, autumn morning. There has to be more than just this.
Though I know I can’t keep this stinging in my heart, I can’t t help but feel victimized. I was not the doer of wrongs here. But the scripture Matthew 6:14-15 comes to mind. “For if you forgive others their trespasses. Your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Also, in Mark 11:25, it says, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your heavenly Father also may forgive you your trespasses.”
Okay. I must forgive others, obviously. But how do I forgive the unforgivable? Do I just let it go? Jesus is the answer! Neither you nor I, nor anyone, can truly forgive others completely on our own. Only by the power of the blood and forgiveness and strength of Christ through the Holy Spirit can we fully forgive. I know if Jesus can call out from the cross as He is bloodied and beaten with nails in His hands and feet and a crown of thorns in His head, “Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34. He will give you and me the strength to forgive others or do just about anything.
The heart of the matter:
Now that we know that forgiveness is necessary to be a follower of Jesus. And to fully walk in His call for our lives. Let’s look into what forgiveness actually is. The definition of forgiveness is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.
“Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.”
-Greater Good Magazine. Berkeley Education.
Though I do not believe that you must “forgive and forget.” It is necessary to surrender the situation to God. Knowing that He alone is the righteous judge. And He knows everything! Praise His holy name! Forgiveness does not mean total reconciliation, trust, or even loyalty. Even though I absolutely want that. My heart may be changed, but only they can change their hearts through Christ’s never-ending mercy. Your end is giving it to God and letting Him change/heal your heart. He can and does redeem and use every circumstance to bring us closer to Himself.
These are the practical steps I take to heal and forgive others through Jesus.
Identify the hurt/unforgiveness.
Invited the Holy Spirit into the situation, and you hurt.
Give your hurt and frustration to Christ completely. I like to envision Jesus’s face. And give it to Him.
Watch it burn. Tip… Wait until all of the hurt is gone. The more you trust Him, the faster it goes.
If you can actually talk to the individual who hurt you and tell them that you have forgiven them and have reconciliation, do so. If not, this depends greatly on the situation. I love to pray for them. and bless them with encounters with Jesus, etc.
Continue to ask the Holy Spirit to check your heart. This is not always a one-time thing.
Praise God for His unwavering faithfulness.
I am still in awe that God has given us the ability through His son to overcome even the devil’s most difficult snares. Hallelujah! He has given us the keys to forgive and be forgiven. That God has forgiven us even though we have hurt Him over and over again overjoys me. He did not have to come down here. Be tortured, and killed, buried, and risen. But he chose anyway. That is real love, y’all!
Forgiveness is vital for your relationship with God and others, no matter who they are.
You have to forgive others through Jesus. You cannot do this alone.
We forgive because we have first been forgiven.
Give it all to God, and watch the hurt, anger, etc., burn at the feet of Jesus.
Go, if possible, to reconcile and help the other person who hurt you.
Continue to forgive and don’t let the poison come back.
All glory to God!
Forgiveness does not equal relationship or trust.
Prayer…
Jesus, I love you! Search my heart. Come, Holy Spirit, I invite you into my heart. I give you every hurt, anger, resentment, and emotion or thought that is not of you. It is yours. I choose to forgive (name) as you, Lord, have forgiven me. Take all of this yuck and burn it with your holy fire. I bless them with encounters with you. I bless their relationships, health, finances, etc. Give me your eyes to see them as you see me. Give me love for them, Father! Keep me here, God. May I never turn back. I thank you, Jesus! Hold me fast. In Jesus mighty, holy, glorious name I pray. It is done! Amen.
Halleluiah! God is so good, y’all. I love you bunches. Keep pressing in. And watch what God will do. Until next week.
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